The Only Bar

& it’s night

& every body’s drinking and laughing.

I’m probably the only person here who is just a tad melancholy.

She has a black nothing dress on

& if she bought it herself

she probably paid about 500.

Amazing what some of those design shops down

on Queen & up on St. Clair & out on the Danforth,

Sarah’s for example,

or that cute place Risque on Bloor West,

can put a dress together that promises

& suggests everything you can imagine.

She says I’ve had men do lots of outrageous things,

one man paid me to have sex while he watched.

I say What do you do now, you’re gorgeous,

& she smiles & says Well I’m not a stockbroker

uh, I’m a full-time dancer.

I’m turned on.

I say Can I tell you something really intimate?

Sure she says & she moves all of her gorgeous self right up against me.

I say What I really want is to take your panties

down with my teeth. Oh she says I’ve had lots of promises like that,

let your fingers do the walking, let your imagination do the talking.

She’s hip.

Well okay I say, Beaudelaire had to have a living & Walt

W. had a living & you’ve got a living. It’s dark

outside & I’m a little drunk & it’s

showtime.

I was in the shower looking at my own thighs

that shower brush from Noah’s dripping with suds

how the mind photographs things

you were in the background or grounded by light

the shower water was hot & I saw everything

very clearly O I can see the beauty of your little

finger the pinky O so clearly now

there was olive oil on the fullness of your thighs

sweet to the taste & crumbs of spanakopita

your animal honked at me I could see her very clearly

most beautiful of all things most beautiful of

all natural plants; O how I want you, how I want

your thighs on my shoulders & let me lick each of

those crumbs of spanakopita.

The ouzo will come later

sitting with my arm around your shoulders

& then after desire has been sated after you

have tired of me–

there will be bitter lemons

fresh from the sink with drops of

cool water on them. Then

I will praise the lemons

their freshness I will praise everything yellow.

over a conversation about artichokes & lemons.

It’s her face that captivates me its essential radiance

when she smiles

not her gorgeous body.

She does wonderful things with summer dresses.

But it’s her face that captivates me its essential radiance

that close-cut dark curly hair

those almandine eyes

I always thought almonds were white & come in chocolate cake

but hers are dark dark brown with a very faint slant to them.

It’s her face that brings my Oscar Homolka panting to the edge of my pants

like a dachshund puppy at the edge of a blue lake.

It’s that Roman nose even though she’s Lebanese

it’s that mouth

that elegiac smile or is it elegiac is it thoughtful pensive I guess

not her left breast tumbling out of a dark blue cardigan

that first night kissing goodbye at her doorway.

I love her in blue jeans & I love her in a sexy off-the-shoulder dress

it’s her face that captivates me

& the first sentence that comes out of her mouth is always hello.

I eat the last of the strawberries

after you left

sitting with my feet up on the white pine rail

in the 1/2 dark of the back deck. The red lamp flutters

a bit it’s late & there are 2 or 3

large moths hanging around the way moths do.

This is almost a scene from the 17th century in the south of Japan.

Thinking of the sweetness of your mouth

kissing you with the strawberries still there

of how blue your eyes are

under the red hair pulled back with a black band

darkness of your nipples

flatness of your long stomach how it ripples

down to the band of your pants.

Sitting here with my bare feet

up on the white pine & a large bulge in my dark green peoples

republic of china workpants. The deck is cool with some breeze

rustling through the big oak tree

& that odd not quite _ moon

don’t know how I would describe it–not yellow, like edam,

not tawny, a mid-June _ moon,

lazy night, your sweetness

but no indigo girls dancing at the blue centre. There are so

many parts of the body, toes, earlobes, buttocks, shoulder blades,

too many to count. Sure, I’m looking forward to seeing you

for supper on Saturday.